Of Captain Arrow and Cooking
by KuroGalaxy14
Summary: When Gingka unwittingly lets Captain Arrow into the B-Pit kitchen, chaos happens with random foods that do not at all go together. Can Gingka and his allies survive Arrow's onslaught? And will Gingka's idea to stop the crazy blader from cooking work?


**Yay for random oneshot ideas that you come up with while rping! This one came from a rp with mah friend Nami! One of her characters said something about Arrow cooking, the idea popped into my head, and I couldn't resist. Enjoy!**

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The art of cooking is either one that a person is good at or not. Some people can make elaborate dishes with the strangest of ingredients, while other people can't even boil water without burning it. Captain Arrow of the former DNA bladers had always considered himself to be the former, a skilled chef. If he wasn't picturing how he was going to bring justice to the world, he was imagining some complex and delicious dish that he was sure he could make quite easily. There was only one problem. None of the other former DNA bladers thought his cooking was as great as he imagined it to be.

"Eggs for breakfast, anyone?" Arrow sang one morning from the kitchen of the B-Pit, having somehow managed to slip in there before Madoka woke up from her usual morning nap after a night of fixing beys.

"Oh no… Who let him get into the kitchen?!" Genjuro exclaimed.

"Huh?" Zero looked confused.

"He asked where it was so I told him. Is there a problem with that?" Gingka, who was sitting nearby the group with a cup of coffee, asked.

The former DNA bladers stared at him in dismay, while Zero and his friends looked between the group of former enemies and the Legendary Blader in confusion. Gingka raised an eyebrow.

"Letting Arrow into the kitchen… Is about like letting Manager Benkei into a room full of all of the burgers in the world and telling him he can eat as much as he wants." Kira said slowly.

Gingka blinked. "So… It's not a good thing if Arrow gets into the kitchen?"

"Just don't eat anything he cooks." Baihu shuddered.

"Noted." Zero said. "But… Why?"

"It's-" Genjuro stopped and snapped his mouth shut as Arrow waltzed casually in with a giant plate piled high with some sort of purplish concoction.

"What… Is that?" Shinobu asked slowly.

"This is my eggplant and bubble gum-flavored eggs! They are topped with a nice garnish of caviar and gummy worms!"

"... Sorry, not hungry right now." Kite said, looking disgusted at the 'food,' if it could even be called that anymore. Gingka slowly reached for a nearby newspaper, then snapped it open and began pretending to read it just as Arrow turned to him.

"Surely you will try this, Mr. Gingka? I know how much you love food." Arrow said.

Gingka merely ignored the younger blader, burying his face in the newspaper so that Arrow couldn't see the nauseated expression on his face. Zero snuck off to the bathroom, feeling as if he were going to vomit.

"I'm sure it tastes fine, Arrow, we're just not hungry right now." Maru said. "Maybe later?"

The other BttF bladers gave the small girl a horrified look, shaking their heads.

"Okay! I'll just put these in the fridge for later then!" Arrow said cheerfully, bouncing off.

"... I think I'm gonna be sick." Ren groaned.

"Caviar and candy don't go together, even if I do like food." Gingka said, lowering the newspaper and staring into his coffee cup with a disgusted frown.

"Be glad you missed the smoothies he made." Spike gagged at the thought.

"I don't even want to know." Gingka muttered, looking slightly amused.

Zero soon returned. "Should we get him out of the kitchen? He sounded busy just now."

"... Nothing's gonna get him out of the kitchen once he's gotten started." Kira groaned.

"I know something that will, but I'm going to let her sleep because we'd want the volcano to blow on Arrow and not me." Gingka said, standing and pouring his coffee into a nearby plant.

"Huh?" The others looked confused.

"Madoka. She hates when anyone cooks in her kitchen uninvited." Gingka said.

"But wouldn't she be mad at you for telling him where the kitchen was?" Zero asked.

"Not if I explain that I thought he was going to just grab a snack from the pantry, which she's okay with." Gingka said.

"Until then, we should avoid Arrow's cursed cooking at all costs." Baihu said.

"Now that I've seen what he makes, I agree." Zero made a face of disgust.

"Oh friends!" Arrow popped his head back into the room. "Would anyone like some wasabi peanut butter and brussel sprout cookies?"

"No thanks, still not hungry." Iwayama said.

"Alright! I'll bring them in in a few minutes once they're done!"

Gingka blinked. "Wow. Oblivious much?"

"When he gets cooking nothing will stop him." Kira groaned.

"Let's go to Bey Park then." Gingka said, reaching for his jacket and scarf, which were laying on the back of a chair nearby.

"We cannot escape him. When he's like this he has this weird skill of finding us and popping up randomly to ask us if we want his 'food.'"

"We'll go anyway." Gingka said, putting on his jacket and whipping his scarf around his shoulders before striding off. Kira sighed and followed him, along with the rest of the others, leaving Arrow to hum and stir-fry some concoction in the kitchen.

"He'd better not come after us with any more 'food.'" Ren said.

"He will. He'll cook until he can't find anything else to cook with, at which point he may try to go to the store, where he'll likely get in trouble." Baihu said.

"There's not a way to stop him?" Zero asked with a groan.

"No. And if you eat his food it'll only encourage him because then he thinks you absolutely love it and want more."

"I take it you guys have had plenty of experience with this?" Gingka said.

"Way too much." Kira grunted, clenching a fist. "Don't let him corner you either or he'll force feed you."

Zero's eyes widened. "Did he….?"

Kira glared sharply at Zero, telling him to shut up and giving him the answer at the same time.

"Kira was sick for days after that." Spike said.

"I see." Gingka chuckled. "Anyone want a burger?"

"... Are you really hungry after Arrow's suggestions on what to eat?!" Zero and the others were shocked.

Gingka chuckled. "Yes. And I have an idea to stop Arrow's food concoctions, but we have to go to Bull Burger and then someone has to distract Benkei while I get some soda."

"... Why?" Shinobu asked.

"You'll see." Gingka said. "If I'm right, judging by the color of the clouds…" he trailed off.

"Has he gone mad…?" Ren whispered to Shinobu, who shrugged confusedly.

Soon enough, the group reached Bull Burger, where Zero and the others crowded around the counter while Gingka grabbed a cup from Benkei and went to the soda machine, where he muttered something under his breath before putting the cup upside down on his head and tapping on the front of the soda machine. Zero looked at him like he was crazy for a few moments before turning his attention back to Benkei.

"Just the usual, Zero?" Benkei asked.

"I suppose so." Zero chuckled, glancing back over at the soda machine before his eyes widened in disbelief and he ran to the door, opening it and looking up and down the street.

"Where'd Gingka go?!" the Ifrit blader exclaimed, looking around.

Benkei blinked and looked over at the soda machine, then sweatdropped. "Regular changed to cherry again. It's as I thought."

The others looked confused.

"The soda machine's not just a regular soda machine. it's-" Benkei was interrupted by the door slamming open and a cheerful "There you are!" from none other than Captain Arrow.

"I finished my cookies!" the masked blader exclaimed, holding out a plate of green cookies with strange flakes in them.

"Uhh… Still not hungry." Zero said.

"But you're at a restaurant, so you must be hungry! Here, have some!" Arrow shoved a cookie into the unfortunately open mouth of Benkei, who gagged and quickly ran to the trashcan to spit it out.

"Too much salt! Too much-ahh, hot hot hot!" Benkei exclaimed, rushing to the soda machine and sticking his head under one of the spouts, pouring soda directly into his mouth for several seconds before standing.

"See? He loves them!" Arrow said, laughing. "Anyone else want one?"

"I'm allergic to food." Zero said suddenly.

Arrow blinked in surprise. "No wonder you're so skinny. Don't worry! My food won't cause anyone any allergic reactions!" he held out the plate.

"We don't want any cookies, Arrow. Go away." Kira said, his voice muffled due to the fact that his face was buried in the counter.

"Oh, but once you've tried these you won't have enough of them! I'll have to bake more!" Arrow said, taking a bite. "Mmm, delicious!"

The others stared at him in disbelief.

"Alright Arrow buddy, that's quite enough of your random concoctions." A female voice said. Gingka soon appeared out of thin air on the counter, falling into the trashcan headfirst with a startled yelp.

"How many times do I have to tell you, no teleporting!" The redhead's muffled voice came as his legs waved comically in the air for several seconds before the trashcan fell over.

"Oh Gingkie, Gingkie, Gingkie. Teleporting is so much faster!" the female voice giggled.

"Who and where are you?" Kira challenged, looking around. A hand wearing a fingerless pink gloves reached down and poked the pastel-haired blader on the head a few times, causing him to stumble back and yelp in surprise.

Gingka crawled out of the trashcan and stood, shaking burnt french fries out of his scarf. "Guys, meet Galaxy. Annoyingly enough, I have to ask for her help sometimes." he grumbled, pointing to the ceiling. Everyone looked up. Sitting crosslegged on the ceiling, grinning down at them, was a redheaded girl with silver and blue streaks in her hair. Her ice blue eyes glittered mischievously at them.

"Hello!" She waved one pink-gloved hand before flipping over and dropping to the floor.

"How…?" Zero looked weirded out.

"She essentially has superpowers." Gingka grumbled. "Unfortunately."

"Oh hush Gingkie." Galaxy patted said blader on the head. "I'm not that mean."

"You put me in a coma! More than once!" Gingka exclaimed, glaring at her.

"You still want me around though, despite the fact that you pretend to hate me." Galaxy stuck her tongue out at him.

Gingka grumbled something under his breath before sighing. "Whatever. Just fix this, will you?"

"And ruin my own fun?" Galaxy pouted.

Gingka animefell. "I should have known…"

Galaxy giggled. "The Garcias were hilarious to watch whenever Arrow came in and tried to get them to eat his earthworm smoothies."

Everyone gagged, except for Arrow, who gasped dramatically.

"Earthworm smoothies! Yes, yes, I must make those, they are delicious!" He began rushing off, until Galaxy grabbed the back of his collar and yanked him back inside.

"Now, now, Arrow. You mustn't just show all of your talents at once, right?! You'll have to wait, bide your time, until the time is right."

"But the time is right now!" Arrow exclaimed. "I must go and provide actually good food to the world! There must be justice in the world of food as well!"

"Right, plan B then." Galaxy said, whacking Arrow on the head with a baseball bat that appeared out of nowhere.

"I don't suppose you like any of the foods he's come up with, considering that you apparently came up with them?" Gingka asked, glancing at the now-unconscious Arrow.

"Are you kidding me?! I hate brussel sprouts!" Galaxy pouted. "Just toss the cookies in the trash."

"They smell horrible. Can't you just get rid of them?" Benkei asked.

"I have the ability." Galaxy grinned.

Benkei facepalmed. "Will you get rid of them?"

Galaxy giggled and snapped her fingers, causing the cookies to disappear. "Yes."

"Okay, you can go back to your Evil Mastermind Lair now." Gingka said, handing her a cup.

"And I need this why?" Galaxy looked at him, blinking.

"... Isn't that how you get in there? You have to put a cup on your head and tap three times on the front of the machine?" Gingka asked.

Galaxy laughed and whacked him on the head with the cup before filling it with Dr. Pepper and grabbing a straw. "Nah. I just wanted to see you do something stupid. You're so gullible."

Gingka animefell. " I had people staring at me as if I were losing my mind!"

"Yup. That was the point. It was funny." Galaxy giggled, opening up a cabinet underneath the machine and climbing inside.

Gingka groaned as he got up, running a hand through his hair.

"Anything else before I go?" Galaxy asked, laughing.

"No… You can go." Gingka muttered.

"As if I needed your permission." Galaxy snorted. "See you guys in the studio for more recordings!"

Gingka groaned. "Anything but those… Anything but 'writing time.'"

"... What's that?" Zero asked.

"That's when the craziness happens." Galaxy giggled. "Ja ne!" she closed the cabinet. A single yell of "Geronimo!" echoed before fading away.

"Well… Now what?" Zero asked, blinking in surprise at what he had just seen.

Gingka opened his mouth to reply, only to yelp and fall on his head as they were all teleported back to the B-Pit.

"Ow! Galaxy!" He yelled in protest.

"You're welcome!" She said. "Oh, and if you don't want Arrow to cook, don't show him the kitchen!"

Gingka groaned. "Got it…"

And so ended the MFB gang's little 'adventure' with Arrow's incredibly terrible cooking.

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 **Welp, that's all. Hope you enjoyed it. See you guys next time!**


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